Listen and Learn: With Tongue in Cheek

Jim returns to his keyboard after a long, hot weekend planting, weeding, watering, and fertilizing. I'll never be rewarded with one of those (oxidized) plaques bestowing 'Yard of the Month' on my acreage, but I continue to try, even in this heat.

As I was digging and yanking and hauling a great bag of Lukas' 4-in-1 all-purpose fertilizer to the northwest forty, I got to thinking about my work day and the truly funny comments we hear. I've taken to writing them down, either made by people reacting to something I've said, or simply voicing a simple request. What follow are actual comments made by children and adults who we've encountered here at the Winter Garden Heritage Foundation...

Out of the Mouths of Babes Department:

Jim (After a second grade presentation about our local Citizen Heroes): "Any questions?"

2nd. Grader: "Are you Santa Claus?"

Jim: "Thinking about the Citizen heroes in your life, who's the first person you see when you wake up?"

2nd. Grader: "A meteorologist?"

Jim, to field trippers: "...and the fountains in Winter Garden are stocked with lemonade!"

4th. Grader: "Is it fresh-squeezed?"

Two tiny, bespectacled first grade boys holding hands, in response to my telling their class that their principal told me that today’s school lunch would be spinach sandwiches:

“Actually, he and I would LOVE spinach sandwiches!”

Jim: "Who was the Edgewater Hotel built for?"

4th. Grader: "The homeless?"

Jim: "What was the hotel occupied by when it stood empty for years on Plant Street?

4th. Grader: "Bald eagles?"

Giving a bicycle tour to visiting young attorneys along the West Orange Trail-

Jim: "Any questions?"

Lawyer A: "Will there be ticks?"

Lawyer B: "Where did the orange trees go?"

Lawyer C: "Does Disney know about this?"

Passing by Tony's Liquors, a 4th. Grader on a field trip informs us all, loudly:

"My mother goes in there all the time!"

From a 4th. Grader's thank you note after a field trip:

"All of you are wise and young and elderly."

Telling about how somebody in 1960 took photos of the inside of the Garden Theatre, which helped immensely in our restoration efforts:

Jim: “Think about it! Who takes photos when they go to the movies?” 

2nd. Grader: "Weirdoes!"

Once I had to do a presentation in front of over sixty high school seniors as part of an audit for grants. After making my way through an upgraded 4th. Grade presentation tailored for older kids, I asked:

"So, after hearing all this, what was the fruit that put Orange County on the map?

Senior boy: "Grapes?"

From the Third Cousin Twice Removed Department:

Octogenarian coming into the office to do genealogical research:

"I heard that my great-grandmother is in one of your filing cabinets and I aim to find her."

Visitor: "Can you folks help me with my family file?"

Staffer: "Sure! Whats' the family name?"

Visitor: "Smith."

Staffer: "Which Smith?"

Visitor: "The ones I'm related to."

Visitor: "I'm doing research on my old Oakland family. You know, we've been here since the dawn of time. Great-great-grandfather was so happy to see new families with new blood moving into town because everybody had started to look alike!"

Respected Winter Garden doyenne: "Well, Jim, it's so nice to finally meet you! I hear you're from up North. How long have you lived in Florida?"

Jim: "Almost fifty years."

Doyenne: "Oh, so you're NEW!"

Another respected Winter Garden doyenne:

"Well, Jim, welcome to town. And remember not to gossip with anyone you don't know because everybody's kin around here!"

Never a dull moment at the Winter Garden Heritage Foundation. All levity aside, we encourage you to visit our two museums and the History Research and Education Center. You never know what lurks in your Family File... and we'll be happy to show you!